Monday, June 20, 2011

No Strings Attached.

This is most likely going to be a reflection of a previous post I wrote in regards to men stepping it up in the church. The following is just a holistic view of church people as I have come to encounter. I have questions, frustrations and thoughts tossing back and forth in my mind. Not questions that make me doubt the providence of our God nor the fact that Gods hands are in operation throughout all of our circumstances as they are directed to His appointed end. That is truth that will not be swayed in my life. So, with that said I'd like to present, simply, some thoughts... no strings attached.

God's invited us onto this journey with Him. A journey that transforms us. A journey that brings pain, discomfort, awareness, beauty, depth, character, wisdom, ...freedom. And it's actually a journey that you can take a vacation from at any moment. This journey is solely our decision to remain steadfast in. For with much wisdom, comes much sorrow. ( Ecc. 1:18 ) The greater percentage of people in the church aren't down with the sorrow. Nor are they down with the steadfast part. Until they are down, they cannot be pliable pieces of clay in the hands of the Creator.

Gods been opening my eyes in seeing the discrepancy in a lot of romantic relationships between "church people". Simply, most of them are not equally yoked. I've met some amazing and truly godly men, who are with gorgeous women... these woman have yet to be single for just one season of their lives. I don't want to sound rash, but is it fair to say that if you have never had a simple year of singleness - there is a reality of your heart that you have yet to see? Yet, on the other hand, I don't want to sound judgmental, nor discredit that God is in operation in all circumstances and He is the one who reveals the realities of our hearts, however and whenever He chooses. It just so happens that our own will and human tendencies put us in the path of the bullet.

While the rarest of women are remaining steadfast in allowing God to stir up their hearts and shape their character painfully, the majority of women are utterly content in themselves, only because of the godly man that chose them. Does that make sense? This makes me so frustrated. It makes me wonder sometimes how easy it would be for us to start dressing and looking like most women, while taking a vacation from the purging and find contentment in a godly man.

As a godly man, don't you want a woman who is far beyond her flawless figure and her crazy talents? Yes? Well then please start acting like it and stop dating the women solely known for their foolishly good looks and formless-ness. Don't deny.

As I bring this frustration to God, I am asking for Him to reveal why this bothers me so much. It's discouraging wondering why so many godly men are dating girls who haven't been through the freakin fire. I'd like to think that they are in search of a Proverbs 31 woman...

My prayer is that the men in the church who have a yearning and hunger for Gods mysteries and wisdom would not settle for just a formless woman, who is easy on the eyes, but rather allow God to showcase His perpetually glorious work in the woman He brings their way, before the hunting even begins. If men could do this, I bet an abundance of women would jump back on board with the purging, the awareness, the revelation, the refinement, the healing and the freedom God desires for them.

My prayer for us women is that we fight to stay on this journey and we fight our tendencies to run away from the fire.

Lastly, I'm in no way blaming men for anything. :)


  1. i think you have really great things to say about this WHEN the woman is lacking substance, but you also seem to imply that all beautiful women lack substance, haven't been through the fire, aren't allowing their hearts to be touched by God. i would encourage you to be careful here, to let your words be out of discernment and care, not out of covetousness or jealousy. i have no idea where your heart is at; that's for you to check :) you are beautiful, caydin. thank you for sharing.

  2. hey bayley :) when do i seem to imply that all beautiful* women lack substance? I'm sorry if my words formed that thought in your mind bc as I wrote this I was solely thinking of the women who have been through the fire and have made the decision to remain in it. And thank you for restating what I said about how I am bringing this frustration to God. We forever need to check the reality of our heart and Im confident that in my honesty He will respond. thank you for your response :)

  3. I stumbled across your blog... Know that all guys aren't this way. All I have to ask is please don't let guys be that way. Some guys really, truly do care more about more important things - spirituality and character.

    Maybe I'm a minority...

  4. Mister Welch!! thank you for reading, my brother :) And another thank you for being a man of God who has stepped it up and has a holistic understanding to what God has called you to as a man. You are indeed, among the few.

  5. Miss Sanders, you are welcome my sister :) Let me just say thank you for caring about more then the outside. I've encountered way too many women who only care about the outside of life and not the most important - insides... It's frustrating.

    I could blow your mind on the hermeneutics behind Proverbs 31, that I learned this past year, but that's probably too complex for this... Know though, that men who want that do exist. There are men who want partners, equals, and women who will team up and allow for each other to be made better. These men exist. Don't accept anything less.

    That's all of my rant for now... ;-)

  6. Caydin! I know this is from a week & a half ago & you have written three blogs since, but I wanted so badly to comment on this blog when I read it on my phone, but some things can just not be done on such a tiny keyboard, so here we go!!

    I'm in the middle of reading this book by Leslie Lundy titled Set-Apart Feminity because I am striving to be a woman that is set-apart for Christ alone & not conformed to the image of this world, especially the female "idealist" barbie doll that we see all to often -which breaks God's heart. I'm so intrigued as to what we allow to define our view of beauty (I grew up wanting to look like Mary Kate & Ashely Olsen).

    Anyways, the book is good stuff & the third chapter in is about men. HA, why am I always fascinated by the chapters about relationships & boys. Though we feel that some men don't get it there are the same amount of girls out there too. And all of its is so terribly sad. BUT, take assurance, because as you are trying to be a woman set apart for God's glory there is a man out there doing the same.

    May you continue to let go of the things of this world, particularly the pressures, and may you fall more into Christ arms. May He be the only one you strive to find worth in, may He be all that you need. May we both be amongst the few of our generation to live set-apart.

    We should get coffee. We should hold eachother accountability to our growth & transformation & anti-conformance :)Proverbs 31 women!! Lord, help us!