Thursday, March 19, 2009
I find myself cringing when He brings the situation back my way.
Am I going to fail miserably for the 8th consecutive time? Or maybe it will all end in a field of honeysuckles with a warm breeze against my back...? It may even possibly change the entire perspective I have on my own life. So, which DRAMATIC spectacle am I going to end up having lead role in this time around ?
The outcome that I visualize comes to me after intense reflections...yet, I am constantly shifting my opinions and requests from one spectrum to the other. I am such a woman.
Beyond all this jibber jabber is a valid point that is struggling to be evident in my life.When I am standing before a situation that I was previously demoted from; I cringe.I cringe because I am petrified of the God Given circumstance laid before me.
This God Given circumstance has a bone to pick with me.
I'm wanting and willing to experience the real wisdom I can get from the calamity of a situation... but I'm wondering how emotionally draining it will be. So, I find myself over analyzing. I am picking my brain in hopes of finding a settlement between my mind and my heart. I dramatically go all in. You say,"let's put our feet in", and I say, " Hey let's actually go drown ourselves."
I am God's comic relief in the middle of a very serious and sedated moment.
I am slowly, but unquestionably, learning that God can keep things simple at times... and when I bring in theatrical drama to my life situations, I twist things up all on my own...and leave myself wondering what the heck is going on.